the golden mean - TMMO check-in

Well, aside from the major expenses associated with buying a new laptop, I actually spent very little money this month. I spent the majority of my "fun money" the first weekend and decided that I was still going to stick to the budget and cut out any extra expenses the rest of the month to make up for it. As a result, I did pretty much NOTHING social the rest of this month (Admittedly, it wasn't all drudgery since I did enjoy playing with my new toy.) and the lack has been very hard for me!

I don't know how these diehards on the TMMO do it. I've seen very little of Jenn because our primary means of communication was lunch once or twice a week. At first she kept offering to pay which made me feel even worse so I started making up excuses as to why I couldn't go (meetings, etc). Nice, huh? Lying to my friends! Plus eating at my desk every day, while doing wonders for my job performance this month, has been depressing. If only I were a true introvert, maybe I wouldn't even notice these things. Of course, if I were a true introvert, I probably wouldn't have gotten into this mess to begin with!

Even once I hit paycheck #2 for the month, I still stuck with it because once I'm committed to a venture, I can't seem to rein in my spending to less than $40 a pop. I guess it's a pride thing but once I'm there, I feel like a killjoy if I say I can't do something or insist on separate checks. But all this obsessing about money has not been good for the relationships I have;  I feel like my soul is becoming small and stingy

Maybe that's the way to become a millionaire but if that is the cost, I don't think I want it.

Don't get me wrong; I really, really want to get rid of this huge debt hanging over me. I hate it and the sooner it is out of my life, the happier I will be. But in the meantime, I don't think it's a good idea to cut myself off from life to this extent just to get out of debt a month or two faster.

So my new goal is to strike a happy medium between this self-imposed asceticism and the free-fall spending of my past.  A big part of that for me is to cut it into a more sizeable chunk. When I think about the total amount, it's just so overwhelming - it feels as though I'll be condemned to drudgery for years.

So instead I'm just going to focus on paying off the "little stuff" (car, etc) and excluding the student loan, at least for the moment.  The student loan and the house are important but they will get paid off eventually and maybe once I get past the rest, they won't seem so overwhelming. The important thing is to stick to the biggest principle I've learned this last year: spending less than I make each month (still no credit cards!) and to just keep at it. In the meantime, a little more "mad money" and giving myself permission to spend for the right things - like time with friends - is in order,.

So here's the check-in for this month. Despite the lack of social interaction, lunches, etc the total paid off, minus interest payments, etc,  is a paltry $238.54 for a grand total of  $11,089.10 to date.  Which doesn't even budge my percentage on the tracker I'd been using! So just to make me feel better, here it is, new & improved, without the student loan.  There now, that looks much more do-able. :)