reading deprivation

So I finally ran out of excuses to start the week of no reading (& other media). I made it through day 2 (since technically this is day 3 already). Only 4-1/2 more to go!

Came very close to giving up - or at least calling a time out - this afternoon and came to the realization that my intense urge to read was not, in fact, because I was bored (this is what I'd assumed would be my downfall) but the result of a stressful conversation with Mom (not stressful b/c of her; rather due to the topic).

The weird thing about it is that the desire to just read a book was so overwhelming - and I didn't make the connection between the stress and the desire until I was journaling afterwards. I knew that I used books as an escape but I hadn't realized that it was so unconscious!

Hoping that the rest of the week gets easier.

Media Fast

I have begun to read the fourth chapter in The Artist's Way - and so the clock begins to tick. You see I was warned by a poster on 43 Things that the 4th week contains a ban on reading. Yes, ironically enough, an *author* asks you not to *read* for one full week. The rationalization behind this ban is that reading is used by artists as a tranquilizer to escape and that by removing the distraction, we allow ourselves to participate in the sensory world. Cameron also encourages banning or limiting other media distractions as well such as movies, radio, television and the like so that is my plan. I have decided that music is the one medium I will allow myself.

Even before the fast begins, I have already begun to notice how addicted to reading I really am. I have been putting it off with the lamest of excuses ("I just need to finish this one book" or "I cannot possibly keep this movie out of circulation for another entire week") so soon I will bite the bullet. Honestly, going without food or even water for a week seems more do-able at this point. I don't believe I have gone an entire week without reading since I first began to read. This will certainly be a test of willpower if nothing else.

Things I worry about in the middle of the night

(1) Valuable Water Sources Disappearing

Lake Chad: 1972 and 1987. Lake Chad, which supplies water to Chad, Cameroon, Niger and Nigeria, was once one of the largest lakes in Africa. But extensive irrigation projects, the encroaching desert and an increasingly dry climate have caused it to shrink to 5% its former size. (The Guardian, 3/4/2008)

(2) Plague of Plastic Chokes the Seas

The yellow dots show the pattern that the trash moves so that there are spots where it accumulates into massive areas in the middle of the ocean. Below is the Pacific. The Atlantic has one too (how nice for it). (LA Times, 8/2/2006)

(3) Plastics & Microplastics in our Oceans

It's bad enough to hear about stories like the one about a whale that had basically starved to death because its stomach was full of the crap above. (Banish the Bags, Daily Mail, 2/27/2008) Even worse are the microscopic plastic particles that these plastics break down into that do the same thing to the fish and other marine life who eat them thinking they are plankton. (Invisible Plastic Trash Poses Newfound Threat to Sea Life, Live Science website, 11/2/2007)

getting easier

I got some reusable bags (you can get them for free at Small Steps for Better Living) last summer and at first it was difficult to (1) remember to bring them with me and (2) ask clerks to use the bags I brought rather than the plastic bags they brought with them. I typically got rolled eyes and sometimes (which was the worst!) they would proceed to THROW AWAY the bag they had already gotten out to use. Argh.

Anyway, I’ve noticed that as the idea has become a little more common, sales people are becoming much nicer about it and it has become such a habit for me that I have now been 1 full month without receiving any disposable bags. Perhaps not the euphoric bliss evidently felt by the woman in orange in the picture above but feels good nonetheless.

Spent most of the weekend's daylight hours (as much as I could spare from obligations) in the backyard. I spent several hours this afternoon watching butterflies zero in on the choicest flowers, trying to discover the secret to their flight pattern. Then a bird made a minute inspection of the good orange tree; I wondered if it was looking for a nest location since it seemed to spend a great deal of time looking at the nest left there by a previous occupant. There seemed to be quite a large number of birds hanging out this afternoon. Seemed to be around 20 or so just in the laurel oak at any given moment.

I am feeling a bit of relief and also a great deal of sadness too - this morning I spoke to Tommy re: my decision to step down from the leadership team. He was quite understanding and said that he had gone through a similar crisis a year or so ago. It was difficult to do and, like last time, I almost chickened out at the last minute due to the feelings I always experience after singing. But overall, I think it was the right decision to make - mostly for my own mental well-being. I hate feeling like I am living a lie and that is exactly how I'd been feeling the past few months.