Things I worry about in the middle of the night

(1) Valuable Water Sources Disappearing

Lake Chad: 1972 and 1987. Lake Chad, which supplies water to Chad, Cameroon, Niger and Nigeria, was once one of the largest lakes in Africa. But extensive irrigation projects, the encroaching desert and an increasingly dry climate have caused it to shrink to 5% its former size. (The Guardian, 3/4/2008)

(2) Plague of Plastic Chokes the Seas

The yellow dots show the pattern that the trash moves so that there are spots where it accumulates into massive areas in the middle of the ocean. Below is the Pacific. The Atlantic has one too (how nice for it). (LA Times, 8/2/2006)

(3) Plastics & Microplastics in our Oceans

It's bad enough to hear about stories like the one about a whale that had basically starved to death because its stomach was full of the crap above. (Banish the Bags, Daily Mail, 2/27/2008) Even worse are the microscopic plastic particles that these plastics break down into that do the same thing to the fish and other marine life who eat them thinking they are plankton. (Invisible Plastic Trash Poses Newfound Threat to Sea Life, Live Science website, 11/2/2007)

getting easier

I got some reusable bags (you can get them for free at Small Steps for Better Living) last summer and at first it was difficult to (1) remember to bring them with me and (2) ask clerks to use the bags I brought rather than the plastic bags they brought with them. I typically got rolled eyes and sometimes (which was the worst!) they would proceed to THROW AWAY the bag they had already gotten out to use. Argh.

Anyway, I’ve noticed that as the idea has become a little more common, sales people are becoming much nicer about it and it has become such a habit for me that I have now been 1 full month without receiving any disposable bags. Perhaps not the euphoric bliss evidently felt by the woman in orange in the picture above but feels good nonetheless.

I keep thinking of something that lenon said to me the other day. Along the lines that God exists as a kind of karmic force in the universe, making things come together for people, basically working for the good. This also goes along with the (central?) theory behind The Artist's Way (e.g.,"As we open our creative channel to the creator, many gentle but powerful changes are to be expected." and "...when we move out on faith into the act of creation, the universe is able to advance.")

I can understand this argument and in fact, I think the basic principle is true; I just don't know that I believe it is true due to the existence of God. Similar to the effect of prayer or meditation, I think that what actually happens is by praying/meditating/chanting affirmations/what have you, we start to expect positive results and to watching and waiting for them so that as soon as an opportunity presents itself, we are ready to act.

I think that it's similar to finding one's way by acting subconsciously rather than consciously. There is certainly a great deal to the universe and to human abilities that are still unexplored. Look at how little medical science knows about the human brain. Perhaps religion somehow taps into some as-yet-unexplained mental abilities? Either way, it does not seem to be to be a sufficient argument for god's existence.

Spent most of the weekend's daylight hours (as much as I could spare from obligations) in the backyard. I spent several hours this afternoon watching butterflies zero in on the choicest flowers, trying to discover the secret to their flight pattern. Then a bird made a minute inspection of the good orange tree; I wondered if it was looking for a nest location since it seemed to spend a great deal of time looking at the nest left there by a previous occupant. There seemed to be quite a large number of birds hanging out this afternoon. Seemed to be around 20 or so just in the laurel oak at any given moment.

I am feeling a bit of relief and also a great deal of sadness too - this morning I spoke to Tommy re: my decision to step down from the leadership team. He was quite understanding and said that he had gone through a similar crisis a year or so ago. It was difficult to do and, like last time, I almost chickened out at the last minute due to the feelings I always experience after singing. But overall, I think it was the right decision to make - mostly for my own mental well-being. I hate feeling like I am living a lie and that is exactly how I'd been feeling the past few months.

weekend update

Spent most of the weekend's daylight hours (as much as I could spare from obligations) in the backyard. I spent several hours this afternoon watching butterflies zero in on the choicest flowers, trying to discover the secret to their flight pattern. Then a bird made a minute inspection of the good orange tree; I wondered if it was looking for a nest location since it seemed to spend a great deal of time looking at the nest left there by a previous occupant. There seemed to be quite a large number of birds hanging out this afternoon. Seemed to be around 20 or so just in the laurel oak at any given moment.